No Tea Means No Tea

Trigger Warning: Consent and rape situations discussed

I recently watched this video that explains how, if a person is struggling with consent, to think of it like making a cup of tea. It explains how a person can say “No thank you” and you shouldn’t make them tea, force them to drink tea or get annoyed at them for not wanting tea.

It also illustrates how someone may say, “Yes!” to tea but after you bring them the tea, they change their mind. “Sure, that’s kind of annoying, as you’ve gone to all the effort of making the tea. But they remain under no obligation to drink the tea. They did want tea. Now they don’t. Some people change their mind in the time it takes to boil the kettle, brew the tea and add the milk. And it’s okay for people to change their mind. And you are still not entitled to watch them drink it.”

What makes this video so effective is it’s simplicity and its clear-cut examples that help viewers understand why consent is so important. The neutrality of the drawings are equally helpful because they are not assigned a specific gender, which opens it up to many different types of situations, rather than just heterosexual cis couples.

If we just thought of sex as any other act, like drinking tea, the rules would become much clearer. You wouldn’t force someone to go on a roller coaster or watch a horror movie if they decide that they don’t really like these things. As the video says, “Whether it’s tea or sex, consent is everything.”

Published by

India Rose Kushner

A writer, journalist, poet and feminist.

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