The silent class is shouting.

Your hair is too long, you don’t sit with the lesbians.

You don’t wear the right clothes, look at that tight t-shirt.

And although you’ve been reading Perez Hilton for 6 months to understand pop culture, you still ain’t got nothing to say about gay pop culture.

As a matter of fact, Perez Hilton isn’t even acceptable, what are you doing?
But girl, you don’t even know who Tegan and Sara are.


I saw you making out with that girl who denies that she’s gay–
You’re the girl that wishes you and her, were.

You don’t play rugby.

You don’t needa touch up your buzz cut every two weeks.

You walk around with that Mac makeup on your face, but lesbians go au natural.

You’ve been born with the right sexuality and in the right race,

You do not struggle.
She’s pansexual, that means she’s not really gay

She doesn’t even know who Ani Difranco is.

Do you even go to Water Works on Thursdays?

My bad, I saw you there, but you’re not a dyke, you’re just a faghag, a fruit fly.

You don’t act gay, why do I see you with that guy all of the time?

Act like you don’t wish you were with him.


But actually, I am that rainbow-covered textbook that stares you in the face,

I am the class of 500 lead by a short-haired gay.

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