Texting and Dating

Cell phones can be annoying. They make a lot of things more convenient, but they also force your entire social network to be at the palm of your hand at all times. You are constantly connected to everyone. Such a first world problem, I know; but a problem nonetheless. Think of it: you are always connected. So when someone doesn’t answer?

What. The. Fuck.

When your phone vibrates, suddenly you are Gollum snatching up his precious ring to see what brilliant piece of insight your friend has to tell you. And God forbid if the text is not from the right person: you hear the phone… get all excited…and it’s just Mom. Ugh.

And if your phone is dying when you are out? You feel that you, yourself are also dying with it. As the bar goes from green to yellow to red, you find yourself becoming more and more anxious until pretty soon the only thought in your head is: MUST FIND OUTLET.

We know that a text shouldn’t mean so much. We know this, but we still expect a prompt and fulfilling answer. ‘k’ does not cut it.

When discussing this very important matter with my very dramatic group of friends, one remarked that she felt too needy if she sent multiple texts before he answered. Another said that if he didn’t respond within 2 hours, she wouldn’t text him for the rest of the night.

That’ll show ‘em.

I remember one night a while back, I noticed that my Male Interest hadn’t responded for 12 hours. 12 hours! That’s a lot of hours. He was a busy guy, so I wasn’t mad. Just a little pouty. One of my trusted girls came to the rescue: “Isn’t he in a different time zone? That’s why.” He wasn’t in a different time zone. Not at all. Gotta love the effort though.

I mostly have had experience with absentee texters, but I have heard tales of men who are incessant texters: you used to go to high school with him, or you met him at bar once. He’s texted you about 47 times and you haven’t responded. Will he ever get the message? Then there’s the guy whom you haven’t seen in about 5 years. He texts you randomly: ‘Wanna hang out ;)’ First of all… who are you? And second of all, No. I do not want to hang out. Do you think I’m a moron? Didn’t you get a girl pregnant in the 11th grade?  Don’t wink at me.

Squished with my BFF in the back of a car on a road trip, while swiping through boys on Tinder, my phone buzzed. As I typed my response to the text, she snatched the phone out of my hand. “WHAT are you doing? You have to wait at least a little bit”. I slipped my phone into my pocket. There is just something uncool about an immediate answer. What if he thinks I am waiting by my phone for his every word?

Wait…what? No. I am not going to play this game. So I responded. And then noticed the drunk text I had sent the night before. So I began to look up drunk text blocking apps.

I digress. 

The world of texting is a complex one, especially with a romantic or sexual interest. There seems to be so much calculation in it. I know it doesn’t mean much but for some reason it kind of does. Sure maybe you get the fluttery feeling because he answered you back. But that feeling lasts about 3 seconds until you realize it’s not enough. It is a quick solution. Why not take your face out of your phone and go talk to a real human? Go speak to that guy across the room and watch as his expressions light up the space around him. Feel the electricity between your bodies. Enjoy the music of your voices and the moment of being in the company of others. Enjoy the people who are there.

If you are home for the night and find yourself in a texting predicament, I challenge you this: pick up the phone and…dare I say…call him?

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