On Dating and Job Searching (and How They Are the Same Thing)

You’ve found yourself in this situation on multiple occasions: After weeks maybe months of sorting through the options, you got THE call.  You went shopping for a new outfit and you even took a shower. You are prepared to talk about your best qualities; you really hope there’s a connection. This could be it! Of course, you also have to decide if you want to accept the offer.

If you’re anything like me, you don’t have the greatest history of thinking before speaking, but that’s why he likes you. You’re a little nervous but that quickly fades away as he asks you about yourself. Maybe you have a couple innovative questions prepared if you are extra fancy. He’ll ask you some questions. They might be super open-ended questions that “don’t have a right answer”, but you know they kind of do. So you answer accordingly.

He says he’ll call you.

You picture yourself with him. Can you see it working out? Would it be rewarding, would you be happy? When you leave, you have a few things to consider.

Wait, was that a job interview or was that a date?

And then what happens if you get multiple job offers? One job you’ve been in the process for a while and are just on the cusp of getting, but then there’s the job you’ve recently developed a thing for. The former is very promising: you are interested and would not want to leave it unexplored. You don’t know all the specifics of the latter just yet, but it would be adventurous and exciting. You feel it would fit you well. Unfortunately, it is not exactly clear as to whether or not this job is serious about wanting you. Then there’s that other random offer that pretty much anyone could land. You’re better than that.

Don’t even get me started on the Facebook update. When is the right time to declare your new job on Facebook? You feel like you want everyone to know, but you have to be 100% sure it is going to work out. Otherwise you’ll have to take it down a week later and that will be the most embarrassing thing in the entire world. Everyone will be like “OMG what happened??” You really just don’t want to talk about it.

I remember breaking up with my first job just as well as I remember breaking up with my first boyfriend. My boss was a bit more understanding than my boyfriend, though. He must’ve had an inkling that I wasn’t going to stay with Coldstone Creamery for the rest of eternity. Anyway.

On both occasions, the feelings were the same: extreme anxiety and awkwardness. After much deliberation when I knew this was ‘the moment’, I closed my eyes and appreciated the silence; the calm space where my life was as I knew it to be. Then I forced the words out of my mouth to completely shatter all of that. Those words cutting the silence in half could never be revoked.

Afterward, there’s the initial “Oh my God what did I just do? Should I have done that? Am I going to be OK when Coldstone gets a new girl (or boy, who knows) to take my place??” You know that the answer is ‘yes’. It will just take some getting used to. Sometimes you look back on your most recent job and miss the stability and structure, but now your world is so fantastically open.  It is terrifying in the best way.  You have opened yourself up to a realm of potential experiences that never would have otherwise happened.

Ever feel that you were ‘in love’ with your job? Or that being in a relationship was so much ‘work’? Coincidence?  I think not.  Now get out there. The world is your fucking oyster!

Author: Kailey McGarvey

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