With Halloween in the air, and all the possible costumes I can wear permeating my mind, I travel down memory lane to my past Halloween costume experiences. My earliest memory is of being in either daycare or pre-k and being completely disappointed in my mother’s costume choice for me—a clown. Do you ever think back to your childhood and think of classmates that were perfect? These individuals were just so damn perfect while you were comparatively frumpy or un-cool or whatnot. I always had girls that I would admire from afar (somewhat creepy) and compare myself against, usually resulting in finding something lacking within me. I think the girl’s name was Kelly (could it be anymore Barbie-ish?). Now, Kelly was fair-skinned, had adorable chubby cheeks, was so nice, and had curly brown hair. So surprise-surprise—Kelly was Belle from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast.
Kelly made an adorable Belle and I made an adorable clown though I don’t remember wearing a wig or a nose. I do recall a multi-colored jumpsuit. Fortunately it got slightly better in elementary school—one year I was an angel (complete with cute and fuzzy wings) and for two consecutive years I was a genie. During the epicenter of my awkward adolescence, middle school, I wasn’t into the whole ‘getting-a-costume’ thing. The only ‘costume’ that I remember is a ‘bi-sexual’ outfit (which doesn’t make a lick of sense) composed of my regular tight jeans, sneakers, and my brother’s ‘Marvin the Martian’ shirt. Evidently my concept of a bi-sexual, when I was 11 years old, was of a ‘tom-boy’. I literally went around the Bronx with my toddler cousins, trick-or-treating, saying my costume was a ‘bi-sexual’. I had balls.
Let’s skip high school altogether because I only dressed up once and it was in my mother’s much-larger nurse scrubs. My intention was to be a nurse, but no one seemed to get that. Story of my life. In college, my Halloween future seemed promising—freshman year I went all out and got a Roman Goddess dress complete with the crown, earrings, bangles, and straightened hair. That year there was a party happening that I actually attended (it was crazy), and I enjoyed that Halloween with my roommates. Sophomore year I decided to go full sexy in a sexy vampire outfit, and unfortunately I went out on the wrong night because I ended up walking around downtown Albany, in high heels (I rarely wear high heels) with some friends and ended up not finding a party. My group ended up in a pizzeria, freezing, and a short while later I was playing tipsy solitaire, with the actual cards, on a friend’s dorm floor alone as everyone around me talked.
Junior year was my most fun experience because it was a group effort and involved making our own costumes to enter into a costume contest at a gay bar (which we didn’t win). I, along with two of my close friends, was a Native American—complete with the braids, brown dress, and feathered headband. Another close friend dressed as a cowgirl, and together we composed ‘Cowboy and Indians’. I spent the night grinding on my girlfriends, dancing, and singing along to awesome dance music. Compared to junior year, my final college year was a bust. I was working and my roommates already had their plans which were difficult for me to join in because of my schedule. I already had my costume in mind—I wanted to be the female Steve Urkel!
And that brings me to this year’s Halloween. I will dress up, dammit! Although apparently most of the celebrations occurred the previous weekend—as usual, I am not with the flow. ‘What costume will she pick?’ you may ask yourself, and the answer is simple. I will be Yessica Urkel, and this Halloween will be great, though I don’t have any party plans. I feel that parties are integral to adult-Halloween – it’s not about the candy when you’re an adult; it’s about friends and what you all do together (perhaps involving some liquid spirits).
Happy Halloween! Do you have any disappointing costume memories? Am I the only weird-o? Leave a comment below!