Self-worth and a Breakfast Special

Earlier this morning, I got breakfast with someone I technically just met off the Internet. Pause for reaction.

I think that there are all sorts of potential risks involved with meeting strangers solely from crossing paths on a digital space, but in this case, I felt comfortable. Mutual friends, mutual circles. I went. Conversation was good, not awkward, polite and engaging – an enjoyable morning.

My roommate asked, “So, who paid?” I answered, “He did. It was very nice of him.” Instant response: “So you’re going to sleep with him now, right?”

Excuse me? I was completely caught off guard by such a bold statement. I think in most circumstances we can agree, if two single people go out for a meal, and one treats, it’s a date. Doesn’t mean it’s a marriage proposal, but it’s a date. There’s nothing harmful about going on a first date if you’re single. Why not, really? But when did breakfast in 2013 equal insta-sex?

I couldn’t help but start thinking about it all: Does someone treating you to an enjoyable meal simply mean that they want to sleep with you? Does making out with someone always lead to more? Do you have to label things as a date or a potential lover, instead of just… simply walking a block down the street, meeting someone for the first time, having a conversation and drinking some coffee? If you meet someone at a bar past midnight, are they only looking for sex? If someone treats you, do you actually have to treat them back sometime?

I couldn’t help but be offended by my roommates second question. Sure, one thing may lead to another (who’s to say early in the game), but I think I’m worth more than a $8.50 breakfast. I want second, third, fourth dates. And maybe that’s why I haven’t had one of those in awhile.

One thought

  1. I feel like innocent gifts are starting to become a thing with our generation. I’ve encountered several moments like this where I am telling an older individual about an innocent gift and they dismiss as me being naive. I’m starting to embrace it as much as I can, but there are definitely moments when I’ll be very uncomfortable receiving gifts. Or I will hold back on doing a nice deed for someone else because I don’t want to give them the “wrong message”. (A ridiculous thing in our culture!) It’s definitely going to take some time for those associations to break down.

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